Tuesday, September 14, 2004

Fire up her libido by mopping floor

The House notes that we knew this all along: Every guy that's ever donned rubber gloves for us (yes, if Houses have genders, this one is female) has won our hearts... hands down.

Ottawa- A cheeky British book prescribes sharing household chores as the cure for an ailing relationship-an almost guaranteed tonic for domestic bliss.
The sleeper hit of the British book market this summer, How to Satisfy Your Woman Everytime: The Straight Guy's Guide to Housework and Good Grooming, teaches home economics to guys unable or unwilling to iron a shirt, launder their own clothes, or polish brass. Besides going from "slob to suave," it promises that pitching in around the house will "bring your woman complete pleasure everyday."
Titled "Household Management for Men outside of North America", the illustrated book has topped British best-seller lists. It has sold over 350,000 copies worldwide and been translated into 13 languages.
Jane Ellis, publicity director for Cassell Illustrated, the book's London-based publisher, credited its enormous popularity to "the fact that having a clean house is a huge turn on."
"It's very much a gift book."
Fed up with the untidy men in their lives, British women have given the colourful and eminently practical book to their sons, spouses and relatives; a not-so-subtle hint to clean up their messy living spaces.
"It seems to have caught the imagination-particularly of women," said Nigel Browning, co-author of the book. "It's usually women buying it as gifts for men. Perhaps to make them more sexy and to make them more appealing."
He cited several studies to bolster his claims. In the first, three out of four men who help with the household chores for more than two hours each week "last up to 40 minutes longer when making love."
The research gets worse for the slovenly.
"Only five percent of women enjoy lovemaking with men who offer no help around the house," he says, paraphrasing the findings of another study.
"You can safely say that men who do housework...are more attractive to women."
When not playing up the attractiveness angle, the 143-page book gently cajoles men into lending a hand through more practical methods of persuasion-like squeezing in a workout while accomplishing a practical task.
For example, a 30 minutes dish-washing session burns 80 calories.
Advice ranges from the simplistic-emptying shirt pockets of coins and bills before tossing it in the washing machine -to the sophisticated- how to lay out nine pieces of cutlery on the table for a dinner party.
"It's all quite cheeky. That's why it's worked," he says.

-written by David Agren for CanWest News Service and published in the Nanaimo "Daily News" on September 3rd 2004.

The House further notes that last year's non-fiction best-seller in Britain was titled "Domestic Bliss" and was a light-hearted 50's style treaty on domesticity squarely aimed at women too caught up in their careers to notice that the silver in the drawer was tarnishing.

What is it with those Brits... and Germans? (please visit our blogspot on Germany's penchant for cleanliness titled: "Meanwhile in Germany...") though The House does caution North American Males against resting on such laurels as that which is implied in this title ..."Household Management for Men outside of North America".
We say: Three things are for sure in life: Death, Taxes, and Dirt.

The War is never over, and there is no rest for the wicked!